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The Ugly Issue of Date Rape

1/13/2011

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The Ugly Issue of Date Rape

This article was posted here because of a question posed by a young college student.  She did not admit to being date raped, but her distress and body language suggested that she, or someone she knows was violated in a sexual way
. 

Date Rape
studies indicate the horrifying fact that as many as one out of every five women has been or will be raped.  In america, a rape occurs every six minutes.  One in eight female college students will experience rape or attempted rape, usually from a date or acquaintance.  Even men are not immune.  16 percent of male college students admit having being forced into having sex. (These figures do not include incest or other family-related sexual abuse.)  

Most experts agree that these frightening numbers may reflect only a fraction of the reality.  A much as 90 percent of all rapes go under reported. We have a terrible plague on our hands-one we as Christians and churches must respons to.  What should you do id you've been a rape victim?   

First,
understand you are a victim.  What happened was not your fault.  If you said no, and a man, woman, any man or woman -boyfriend or girlfriend, stranger, father, step father, roommate, acquaintace- forced himself/herself on you, you were raped.  It was not your fault.   

Second,
realize you are not alone.  There are unfortunately, countless women/men who share your experience, who understand your pain.  Find one of those women/men- a counselor at a rape treatment center, a hospital staff worker, or someone you know- and tell your stoy.   Please reach out to your parents or family member and get some emotional support during this really difficult time.

Talking about it helps break the power the incident(s) has over you; not talking about it will keep you a victim forever.   

Third,
understand that whatever guilt you experience - and many rape victims experience intense guilt - is false guilt.  Regardless of what your conscience - or the rapist- may tell you, you did nothing to deserve this.  You may have exercised poor judgement in your choice of person, place, or activity, but that's all you're guilty of: poor judgement.  Don't take responsibility for someone else's sin.  

If you have been a rape victim, seek help.  Remember the best source of help is God himself.  He alone is able to heal your damaged body, emotions, and spirit.  Turn to God and let him make you whole again.  He can do it.     

If you are a guy who is trying to help a girl work through this shattering experience, consider this: never tell a rape victim she should "just get over it" or "get on with her life."- Every woman who has been sexually violated wants to do just that, but it is impossible to "cary on" as though the rape never happened.  Rape changes a woman's life.  Not allowing her to deal with the pain, fear and conflict encourages her to deny the problem.  The inner anguish must be dealt with.  There is no way to guage when a woman will recover from this kind of devastation.  Try to be patient, supportive, and loving.  

If you are a guy who has committed rape, or if you consider it OK to force a girl to do anything sexually against her will, consider this: There is no excuse for rape or sexual abuse.  NONE.  The Bible has very harsh words for people who commit sexual immorality and for those who victimize others.  Consider Galatians 6:7" Don't be misled.  Remember that you can't ignore God and get away with it.  You will always reap what you sow!" 

Dont think you can mock God's laws and abuse his image - which is what you do when you abuse any person.- and get away with it.  The thought of God's wrath waiting to be poured out on those who commit such sins should be enough to stop anyone in his tracks. Don't justify the act by saying "she said no, but her body said yes," or "She wouldn't have gone out with me if she didn't want it too." If a woman says no, she means no.  Ignore this and you are legally guilty of rape. - and you can go to jail.   

If you have committed this sin, cry out to God for mercy and forgiveness, and seek counseling.  If you don't, not only are innocent women in danger; so is your soul.  Don't test Gods wrath.  Confess, repent, and get help.  God is waiting- and willing to help you.  

Love VS Lust: 2 Samuel 13: 14-15: Love and lust are very different.  After Amnon raped his half-sister, his 'love' turned to hate.  Although he has claimed to be in love, he was actually overcome with lust.  Love is patient; lust requires immediate sexual satisfaction.  Love is kind; lust is harsh.  love does not demand its own way; lust does.   

You can read more about the characteristics of real love in 1 Corinthians 13.
 
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