Humorous Observations of Real Life Experiences
Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more idiot than you counted on.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Experience is a wonderful thing… It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
I don’t repeat gossip….. so listen carefully.
Lord, if I can’t be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
Discover Wildlife! — Have Kids!
“Genuine Antique Person” — Been there, done that, can’t remember!
By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!
Never buy anything you can’t sell at a garage sale.
I quit jogging for health reasons. My thighs rubbed together so much it caught my underwear on fire!
Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more idiot than you counted on.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Experience is a wonderful thing… It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
I don’t repeat gossip….. so listen carefully.
Lord, if I can’t be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
Discover Wildlife! — Have Kids!
“Genuine Antique Person” — Been there, done that, can’t remember!
By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!
Never buy anything you can’t sell at a garage sale.
I quit jogging for health reasons. My thighs rubbed together so much it caught my underwear on fire!
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