Proverbs 26:20 says, "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down." Proverbs 16:28 says, "A gossip separates close friends."
Do you know what gossip is? Gossip is repeating idle talk or rumors about the private affairs of others. Don't gossip about your co-workers or friends. Don't gossip about people you don’t even know! We all need to stay out of people’s business. We have enough to deal with on or own.
Don't talk negatively about your own children or mate to other people. You will cause them to lose favor with people. If you need to talk someone, find a godly person to counsel with, but don’t criticize your own family.
James 4:1-2 says, "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it?"
This is a big thing in relationships. We want our way and we want it right now! We don't like it when we don't get what we want!
All relationships require compromise and giving and sacrificing your way for the sake of others. You can't have your way all the time and expect to have fulfilling relationships.
6. The Tongue
Proverbs 18:6 says, "The words of a fool lead to strife". Our mouth is one of the biggest problems in our relationships. We ought to dedicate our mouth to the Lord every morning and say, "God help me to use my words to build people up and give wisdom."
The Bible says that you have creative power in your tongue. What are you creating with your words? Are you creating strife or peace? What are you speaking into the lives of people around you? You create an environment with your word. Use your words to encourage the people in your life.
Proverbs 13:10 says, "Pride only breeds quarrels." Pride keeps us from admitting that we are wrong and that somebody else just may be right! Pride makes us think we know everything-that you can't learn anything from your mate or your child. Pride makes you unable to see the strengths in others.
The Bible says to clothe yourself with humility. With humility comes wisdom and honor. In your relationships, don't be too proud to say. "I was wrong, I made a mistake. You were right. Lets do it your way." (1 Peter 5:5, Prov 11:2, 15:33)
8. Quarrelsome Attitude
Proverbs 26:21 says, "As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife". If you are quarrelsome, you are antagonistic. You wear your feelings on your shoulders. That's just like kindling a fire in your relationships and home.
If you are like that, recognize it and begin to change. Sometimes we don't even realize we are at fault until someone points it out to us. Realize that you don't always have to be right or have the final say. Be willing to listen and hear people out.
Proverbs 20:3 says, "It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel." Did you know that you can actually disagree with someone and still love them and be friends with them? You can even stay married!
No relationship has perfect agreement all the time. We all have the right to have our own opinions. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree and move on! But if it is in your power to bring agreement and unity, then do what you can do.
In the Bible, Abraham and Lot had a disagreement over their land and herds, but they worked it out for the sake of staying in relationship with one another. They were family. Abraham was willing to sacrifice the best part of the land in order to keep peace with his nephew. And God greatly blessed Abraham because of it. Relationships are more important than things!
10. Arguments Over Doctrine and Beliefs
II Timothy 2:14,24 says, "Strive not over words…which does no good, but upsets and undermines with faith of believers." The Bible says, strive not! Don't get in arguments with people over the Bible or Scriptures–it is not worth it. The Bible says that the Lord's servant must not quarrel, instead gently instruct and be kind to one another.
Don't tear your family or relationships apart over what you believe and don't believe. If they will not receive the truth from you, then the Holy Spirit will have to speak to them and show them what is right. Don't argue with them!
Don't ruin your friends at work over your differences. Jesus said that you are the salt of the earth and the light of the world. He didn't say you are supposed to straighten people out! Love them, but let God work on them. You are not their Savior! Jesus is–and He knows how to reach them.
By daily putting into practice the love of God and meditating on these scriptures, your relationships will be full of peace. The seed of peace will reap a harvest of fulfilling happy relationships in your life.