Your Rights...Do You Really Have Any?
Most of the time, we marry because of what we expect to get out of it. We don't think about the other person, except in terms of what they can do for us. Most marital counseling center around this point. People go to the counselor and complain about how the other person isn't meeting their needs or desires. We've become a society of selfish people, who spend their time "looking out for number one" (and that's not the Lord).
If we are going to have God's blessing on our marriages, we need to find out what rights He has given us in the marriage relationship. It isn't what we think that's important, it's what He thinks. When we find out God's principles, and put them into practice in our marriages, then and only then can we expect His blessings to fill our homes. After careful searching of the scriptures, I have found a full listing of the rights we can expect to receive in marriage. Are you ready? Here they are:
RESPONSIBILITIES and DUTIES
Husband's Duties
- Duty to God first and foremost
- Accountability to God
- Second duty to wife
- Responsibility to wife
- Third to children (if applicable)
- Love, cherish and protect wife
- Primary provider for wife and family
- Accountability to wife and family
- Primary spiritual decision maker
- Primary decision maker on large issues that involve the rest of the family
- Responsibility to love your fellow man
WIFE'S Duties
Duty to God first and foremost
- Accountability to God
- Second duty to Husband
- Responsibility to Husband
- Honor, love, respect, submit to husband
- Responsibility to nurture and care for house and children
- Responsibility to love your fellow man
How's that for a list of rights? What... you think I missed something? Did you expect to see some RIGHTS thing written in that list?
Well, I couldn't write anything in that list, because the Bible doesn't give any of us, men or women, any rights in marriage. It gives us responsibilities. God isn't as concerned about what you receive out of the marriage relationship as He is concerned about what you give into it.
If you're not sure about this, just ask God sometime. Go to Him in prayer and start complaining about your spouse. I guarantee you that if you truly listen to Him, the answer you get back isn't going to deal with your spouse, but you. God will start talking to you about your failures in the relationship. He'll start showing you where you haven't lived up to your responsibilities. You talk about what they need to change, and He'll show you where you need to change.
Marriage is a covenant relationship. When people enter into covenant, they commit to what they will do for the other person. It's isn't about what you can do for me, it's about what I can do for you.
Our relationship with the Lord is like that. He hasn't invited us to become His sons and daughters for what He'll get out of the relationship, but for what we will. Every command He has given us is for our benefit, not His. After all, what do we have that we can give Him? Even when we give ourselves to Him, the one thing that He asks for from us, we are giving an imperfect gift. He is perfect, and we can't come close to giving Him anything that is anywhere near perfect.
God's covenant document, the Bible, talks about what God will do for us, not what we can do for Him. The commands that He gives us are for the purpose of showing us what we need to do in order to put ourselves in a place to receive His blessings. Not so that He can receive something from us.
As I said earlier, the Bible doesn't talk about our rights, it talks about our responsibilities. This is because everything in the Bible works by love. In fact, the Bible calls love the greatest of all things. Since love always desires to give, it always looks to the other person's benefit.
Men, you don't have a right to expect anything from your wives. However, God has given you the responsibility of loving them, as Christ loved the Church, and gave Himself for her. Her submitting to you isn't a right of yours, your loving her is a responsibility to her.
Ladies, you don't have a right to expect anything from your husbands. God never gave you the right of receiving love from him, but the responsibility of submitting to him, as unto the Lord.
God never gave either men or women rights to each others bodies, or even rights to their own bodies. What he did was tell us that when we marry, we no longer have any right to our own body. That we are to treat our bodies as if they belong to our spouse. That isn't stating their right, it's our responsibility.
When you stop looking for your rights to be met, and start looking at your responsibilities, it gives you tremendous freedom. Instead of trying to protect your rights, you turn to looking to meet the needs of the other person.
When both the man and woman stop looking to their rights, and start looking to their responsibilities, they end up meeting each other's needs. In fact, the needs won't just barely be met, they will be met with abundance. Remember, God's plan always works best.
If you want freedom in your marriage, take some time to stop looking for your rights, and start looking to meet your responsibilities. See what freedom will come to you by being a servant.
Both husbands and wives have a duty and responsibility to meet each other’s needs, husband’s needs usually more physical and wife’s needs usually more emotional.
So do you see any rights in this post? If you think this sounds old fashioned, it’s because it is. We call it getting back to basics.
DISCLAIMER: In no way is it intended to offend anyone that does not live according to this prescription and does not have any issues at this time, as I realize that, in some households variables exist that some can make a go of it for a time because of personal circumstances. If someone is not ill then they don’t need a doctor right?
Most of the time, we marry because of what we expect to get out of it. We don't think about the other person, except in terms of what they can do for us. Most marital counseling center around this point. People go to the counselor and complain about how the other person isn't meeting their needs or desires. We've become a society of selfish people, who spend their time "looking out for number one" (and that's not the Lord).
If we are going to have God's blessing on our marriages, we need to find out what rights He has given us in the marriage relationship. It isn't what we think that's important, it's what He thinks. When we find out God's principles, and put them into practice in our marriages, then and only then can we expect His blessings to fill our homes. After careful searching of the scriptures, I have found a full listing of the rights we can expect to receive in marriage. Are you ready? Here they are:
RESPONSIBILITIES and DUTIES
Husband's Duties
- Duty to God first and foremost
- Accountability to God
- Second duty to wife
- Responsibility to wife
- Third to children (if applicable)
- Love, cherish and protect wife
- Primary provider for wife and family
- Accountability to wife and family
- Primary spiritual decision maker
- Primary decision maker on large issues that involve the rest of the family
- Responsibility to love your fellow man
WIFE'S Duties
Duty to God first and foremost
- Accountability to God
- Second duty to Husband
- Responsibility to Husband
- Honor, love, respect, submit to husband
- Responsibility to nurture and care for house and children
- Responsibility to love your fellow man
How's that for a list of rights? What... you think I missed something? Did you expect to see some RIGHTS thing written in that list?
Well, I couldn't write anything in that list, because the Bible doesn't give any of us, men or women, any rights in marriage. It gives us responsibilities. God isn't as concerned about what you receive out of the marriage relationship as He is concerned about what you give into it.
If you're not sure about this, just ask God sometime. Go to Him in prayer and start complaining about your spouse. I guarantee you that if you truly listen to Him, the answer you get back isn't going to deal with your spouse, but you. God will start talking to you about your failures in the relationship. He'll start showing you where you haven't lived up to your responsibilities. You talk about what they need to change, and He'll show you where you need to change.
Marriage is a covenant relationship. When people enter into covenant, they commit to what they will do for the other person. It's isn't about what you can do for me, it's about what I can do for you.
Our relationship with the Lord is like that. He hasn't invited us to become His sons and daughters for what He'll get out of the relationship, but for what we will. Every command He has given us is for our benefit, not His. After all, what do we have that we can give Him? Even when we give ourselves to Him, the one thing that He asks for from us, we are giving an imperfect gift. He is perfect, and we can't come close to giving Him anything that is anywhere near perfect.
God's covenant document, the Bible, talks about what God will do for us, not what we can do for Him. The commands that He gives us are for the purpose of showing us what we need to do in order to put ourselves in a place to receive His blessings. Not so that He can receive something from us.
As I said earlier, the Bible doesn't talk about our rights, it talks about our responsibilities. This is because everything in the Bible works by love. In fact, the Bible calls love the greatest of all things. Since love always desires to give, it always looks to the other person's benefit.
Men, you don't have a right to expect anything from your wives. However, God has given you the responsibility of loving them, as Christ loved the Church, and gave Himself for her. Her submitting to you isn't a right of yours, your loving her is a responsibility to her.
Ladies, you don't have a right to expect anything from your husbands. God never gave you the right of receiving love from him, but the responsibility of submitting to him, as unto the Lord.
God never gave either men or women rights to each others bodies, or even rights to their own bodies. What he did was tell us that when we marry, we no longer have any right to our own body. That we are to treat our bodies as if they belong to our spouse. That isn't stating their right, it's our responsibility.
When you stop looking for your rights to be met, and start looking at your responsibilities, it gives you tremendous freedom. Instead of trying to protect your rights, you turn to looking to meet the needs of the other person.
When both the man and woman stop looking to their rights, and start looking to their responsibilities, they end up meeting each other's needs. In fact, the needs won't just barely be met, they will be met with abundance. Remember, God's plan always works best.
If you want freedom in your marriage, take some time to stop looking for your rights, and start looking to meet your responsibilities. See what freedom will come to you by being a servant.
Both husbands and wives have a duty and responsibility to meet each other’s needs, husband’s needs usually more physical and wife’s needs usually more emotional.
So do you see any rights in this post? If you think this sounds old fashioned, it’s because it is. We call it getting back to basics.
DISCLAIMER: In no way is it intended to offend anyone that does not live according to this prescription and does not have any issues at this time, as I realize that, in some households variables exist that some can make a go of it for a time because of personal circumstances. If someone is not ill then they don’t need a doctor right?
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